[ Most people might be embarrassed being caught doing something as weird and stupid as looking inside a random potted plant, but not Jerry. Though, when he looks up his eyes do indeed go comically wide — so much so his surprise seems to be an exaggeration as opposed to actually genuine. ]
Uhhhh. There are several reasons, actually! [ He steps back from the plant and wipes his hands free of dirt. When he speaks he does so with an insane amount of confidence considering the stupid shit coming out of his mouth. ] For one, there could be a key to a creepy torture and/or sex dungeon underneath the building.
[this bodes exactly 0% well for you, buddy. wanda stands where she is, staring at him for a whole minute — actually expecting something else to come out of his mouth, and yet she finds herself receiving absolutely nothing.
[ The nature of Jerry; he says too much when you want him to stop, and doesn't say enough when you want him to talk. ]
As a matter of fact, yes to both! [ He doesn't seem troubled by her advancing forward, even though she seems not at all happy right now. ] That other place with the fancy amenities was total squaresville. But this place has character. And looks less likely to have hidden cameras in weird places.
[ So far it's passing the test! Except for the weed test. It failed that. ]
[this guy talks like he's come out of one of those teenage-filled american reality shows. wanda is having whiplash from some of the words he uses, but she Perseveres.]
Yeah, I didn't like the curfew option either.
[at least they can agree on something.]
—but here, we are all on cleaning duty. You can't go making a mess of everything just because you are looking for weed. [she points at the poor plant he was vandalizing] You could just ask if someone has weed.
Hey, hey, heeeey — that was only one of the reasons! Don't go rewriting history now. I also mentioned a possible sex dungeon.
[ And that clearly justifies making a mess of the place on his first damn day. Granted, he should probably be putting more emphasis on his search for cameras or any kind of bug, but the sex dungeon seems just as important. Every time there's a dungeon underneath a building that usually doesn't end well! ]
[wanda was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt, but at this point her expression has increasingly gotten more and more stern the more jerry talks.]
There isn't one.
[—far as she knows...?
she twirls her fingers in the direction of a corner outside of jerry's eyesight, using her magic to make a broom and a dust pan appear, casually leaning against the wall as if they had always just been there.]
I'll fix the plants and you'll clean up the dirt. [headtilt] Okay?
[ He's not letting this go! Well, maybe for now, because searching potted plants and boxes of cereal for a secret key or bug is starting to get boring. This place is probably okay.
Jerry follows the motion of her fingers (pretty sure that WASN'T there before — he's more observant than he looks...or acts) but being put on cleaning duty distracts him from the fact. ]
Fiiine, but you have to say something if you find a skeleton key. Or weed.
[ Without much more fuss he grabs the broom and dustpan. Even Jerry knows when he shouldn't push his luck. It's really a question of whether he'll do it for shits and giggles. ]
[thankfully, for as obnoxious as this guy is based solely on first impressions, he seems keen to get to work and be amicable when asked. some jock looking for weed or a secret sex dungeon is likely to be more of a dork than anything else, wanda concludes.
and so, wanda starts fixing the plants back into their respective plastic pots, patting down the dirt and making sure there won't be too much botanical trauma from the situation.
swish, swish goes the broom somewhere to her right, and so she claps her hands from any residual dirt before going for the succulents on the windowsill.]
So... what apartment did you get put in?
[casual convo time—] Sorry for judging you earlier. [not really?] I'm Wanda.
[ Jerry takes that more than likely sarcastic remark with a stupidly wide grin as he sweeps up the dirt he carelessly spread around the floor, humming to himself a bit as he does so. Miraculously, he manages to stay quiet long enough for a brief silence to befall them before Wanda breaks it.
He doesn't miss a beat when he answers, seemingly happy to engage in casual conversation. Or, as casual as things can be when conversing with Jerry. ]
First room on the first floor.
[ Good deal, he thought. If someone tried to burgle the place he could just rush out of the room and tackle them head on. Of course, that's assuming a burglar would attempt entrance at the front door.
Jerry pulls his attention from the stubborn dirt he's aggressively trying to push into the dustpan with his broom to Wanda. ]
Pfft, don't worry about it. I was judging you too. [ He does not elaborate on this. In fact, it's difficult to tell if he was even being serious, given the lighthearted delivery. ] Name's Jerry.
[judging her for what—? she falls short of a reply, giving him a look of amusement that she is unable to hide. something rings very familiar with this whole interaction, from the absurdity of jerry's digging through the plants to find some dungeon key or drugs, to the fact that he is taking this all good-mannered despite the different negative ways this could have abruptly turned into.]
You've come a long way from the first floor.
[thank goodness she stopped him treading onto the third floor.
setting the succulents right and organizing their small pots to line up with the windowsill, she turns to him and finds an encroaching sense of gratitude at his taking seriously her request to clean up.]
I'm Wanda. [stepping forward, she offers her hand.] I live on this floor. Room six.
[whether he takes her hand or not, she continues,] You know, I think you could just ask Bonnie for weed if that is what you're looking for. Might not be too hard to get here. [she thinks, anyway.] You settled alright?
[ Truthfully, he was hoping she would ask. Then he would have answered with something totally smooth like, "judging you from the way you seem to take no SHIT as a total badass" or some such. Alas, it was not meant to be.
Probably for the better. ]
Hey, we're neighbors! Kinda. Diagonally. [ Is that how that works??? Doesn't matter. People don't normally want to shake Jerry's hand so it's a brief moment of mild surprise before he offers his own. ] No foolin'? Sweet. Not gonna lie though, would've totally been awesome to find some pot in a pot. I mean, c'mon.
[ It's hilarious, okay? ]
Anyway, yup. My buddy Jack's been here a minute so I got a minor crash course in fuckery. Which isn't all that different than what I'm used to anyway so the settling in bit has been a piece of existential dread inducing cake.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2021-10-13 03:10 am (UTC)Uhhhh. There are several reasons, actually! [ He steps back from the plant and wipes his hands free of dirt. When he speaks he does so with an insane amount of confidence considering the stupid shit coming out of his mouth. ] For one, there could be a key to a creepy torture and/or sex dungeon underneath the building.
Also someone might be hiding weed in there.
no subject
Date: 2021-10-13 04:45 am (UTC)You honestly think—
[it's so ridiculous, wanda doesn't know what to make of it. she motions at the plants, again, with an exasperated pointing.]
Have you done that to every plant in the building?
no subject
Date: 2021-10-14 03:06 am (UTC)Nnnno...?
[ Yes. ]
no subject
Date: 2021-10-14 03:19 am (UTC)what did she expect?
nevermind, focus.]
Are you new here? Are you supposed to be here?
[she's going to start walking up to him now.]
no subject
Date: 2021-10-14 03:27 am (UTC)As a matter of fact, yes to both! [ He doesn't seem troubled by her advancing forward, even though she seems not at all happy right now. ] That other place with the fancy amenities was total squaresville. But this place has character. And looks less likely to have hidden cameras in weird places.
[ So far it's passing the test! Except for the weed test. It failed that. ]
no subject
Date: 2021-10-14 03:42 am (UTC)Yeah, I didn't like the curfew option either.
[at least they can agree on something.]
—but here, we are all on cleaning duty. You can't go making a mess of everything just because you are looking for weed. [she points at the poor plant he was vandalizing] You could just ask if someone has weed.
no subject
Date: 2021-10-14 06:17 am (UTC)Hey, hey, heeeey — that was only one of the reasons! Don't go rewriting history now. I also mentioned a possible sex dungeon.
[ And that clearly justifies making a mess of the place on his first damn day. Granted, he should probably be putting more emphasis on his search for cameras or any kind of bug, but the sex dungeon seems just as important. Every time there's a dungeon underneath a building that usually doesn't end well! ]
no subject
Date: 2021-10-14 04:22 pm (UTC)There isn't one.
[—far as she knows...?
she twirls her fingers in the direction of a corner outside of jerry's eyesight, using her magic to make a broom and a dust pan appear, casually leaning against the wall as if they had always just been there.]
I'll fix the plants and you'll clean up the dirt. [headtilt] Okay?
no subject
Date: 2021-10-14 08:49 pm (UTC)[ He's not letting this go! Well, maybe for now, because searching potted plants and boxes of cereal for a secret key or bug is starting to get boring. This place is probably okay.
Jerry follows the motion of her fingers (pretty sure that WASN'T there before — he's more observant than he looks...or acts) but being put on cleaning duty distracts him from the fact. ]
Fiiine, but you have to say something if you find a skeleton key. Or weed.
[ Without much more fuss he grabs the broom and dustpan. Even Jerry knows when he shouldn't push his luck. It's really a question of whether he'll do it for shits and giggles. ]
no subject
Date: 2021-10-26 02:24 am (UTC)[thankfully, for as obnoxious as this guy is based solely on first impressions, he seems keen to get to work and be amicable when asked. some jock looking for weed or a secret sex dungeon is likely to be more of a dork than anything else, wanda concludes.
and so, wanda starts fixing the plants back into their respective plastic pots, patting down the dirt and making sure there won't be too much botanical trauma from the situation.
swish, swish goes the broom somewhere to her right, and so she claps her hands from any residual dirt before going for the succulents on the windowsill.]
So... what apartment did you get put in?
[casual convo time—] Sorry for judging you earlier. [not really?] I'm Wanda.
no subject
Date: 2021-11-07 04:28 am (UTC)He doesn't miss a beat when he answers, seemingly happy to engage in casual conversation. Or, as casual as things can be when conversing with Jerry. ]
First room on the first floor.
[ Good deal, he thought. If someone tried to burgle the place he could just rush out of the room and tackle them head on. Of course, that's assuming a burglar would attempt entrance at the front door.
Jerry pulls his attention from the stubborn dirt he's aggressively trying to push into the dustpan with his broom to Wanda. ]
Pfft, don't worry about it. I was judging you too. [ He does not elaborate on this. In fact, it's difficult to tell if he was even being serious, given the lighthearted delivery. ] Name's Jerry.
no subject
Date: 2021-11-19 09:21 pm (UTC)You've come a long way from the first floor.
[thank goodness she stopped him treading onto the third floor.
setting the succulents right and organizing their small pots to line up with the windowsill, she turns to him and finds an encroaching sense of gratitude at his taking seriously her request to clean up.]
I'm Wanda. [stepping forward, she offers her hand.] I live on this floor. Room six.
[whether he takes her hand or not, she continues,] You know, I think you could just ask Bonnie for weed if that is what you're looking for. Might not be too hard to get here. [she thinks, anyway.] You settled alright?
wow dw ate this notif. fuckin RUDE
Date: 2021-12-21 04:57 am (UTC)Probably for the better. ]
Hey, we're neighbors! Kinda. Diagonally. [ Is that how that works??? Doesn't matter. People don't normally want to shake Jerry's hand so it's a brief moment of mild surprise before he offers his own. ] No foolin'? Sweet. Not gonna lie though, would've totally been awesome to find some pot in a pot. I mean, c'mon.
[ It's hilarious, okay? ]
Anyway, yup. My buddy Jack's been here a minute so I got a minor crash course in fuckery. Which isn't all that different than what I'm used to anyway so the settling in bit has been a piece of existential dread inducing cake.